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Business and Motherhood

Writer's picture: A LandmanA Landman

Updated: Dec 4, 2024

Finding Myself as a Young Mum of Four: The Journey from Survival to Self-Discovery


Becoming a mother is life-changing, but becoming a mother at 19, raising four children, and being a stay-at-home mum is an experience like no other. It’s a journey filled with blessings, challenges, and moments of growth that I never could have predicted. As I reflect on this journey, I realise that while motherhood is a gift, it has also been a long road toward rediscovering who I am outside of “mum.”


The Early Years: Embracing Chaos and Love


At 19, I barely knew who I was or what I wanted to be, but suddenly, my world revolved around these tiny people who needed me for everything. Before I knew it, my family grew, and with each new child, the demands multiplied. There were days that felt like a whirlwind of diapers, sleepless nights, and endless cleaning. I was fully absorbed in raising my kids, and every accomplishment or struggle felt shared with them. But as much as I loved those precious moments, they were exhausting. My identity as an individual, beyond motherhood, felt like it was slowly slipping away, or had I ever found it.


Despite the hard work and sleepless nights, the bond I shared with my children was something irreplaceable. I knew that the sacrifices were worth it because I was shaping lives and creating memories. But somewhere deep down, I felt the pull to find something just for myself, something that could fill the parts of me that motherhood, as rewarding as it is, couldn’t quite reach.


The Challenge of Finding Myself


As the kids got a bit older, I found myself asking, “Who am I outside of being a mum?” For years, my identity had been wrapped up in my children. Every goal, every plan, every action was centered around them. I adored my children, but I missed feeling like my own person. I missed having dreams, goals, and passions that were mine and mine alone, something that made me feel like I was more than just a mum.


But finding the time and energy to pursue something personal felt impossible. Between school drop-offs, housework, and countless other responsibilities, where could I find a moment to focus on myself? It was challenging to justify spending time on something “just for me” when there were always things to be done for the family, Let's say the mum guilt and self doubt were strong.


The Journey Toward Purpose and Passion


Eventually, I realised that investing in myself wasn’t selfish—it was essential. I had poured so much into my family, but I needed to pour back into myself, too. Little by little, I started exploring things that interested me. I tried different hobbies, took up reading again, studied and slowly began to explore what truly sparked joy for me.


One of the biggest turning points was finding a community of women who understood my experience. Whether through local groups, online communities, or friends who were also mothers, connecting with others gave me a support system and reminded me that I wasn’t alone in this. It was empowering to talk openly about the struggles of balancing motherhood with self-discovery and to hear from others who were on the same journey.


Building a Life Beyond Motherhood


Finding a sense of purpose outside of motherhood became my mission. I didn't just set small achievable goals, I went all in and decided to start a business and within six weeks of this decision myself and my business partner at the time opened the doors to a beautiful little boutique filled with all the treasures that we could find. Every step forward, ever challenge, ever lesson I learnt as I moved through it. I fell down, felt like I was torn between being a good mum or running my business well. no matter how small, each moment, each lesson helped me build confidence in myself as a person beyond my role as a mum and find my voice.


Over time, I found something that gave me a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment—a way to express my individuality while still being there for my family. Whether it was through work, creativity, these pursuits allowed me to reconnect with my identity and gave me the sense of purpose and connection I had been craving.


Embracing the Balance


Today, I feel like I’m in a place where I can embrace both sides of myself. I’m a mum, and I’m deeply grateful for that role. But I’m also a person with dreams, passions, and goals outside of my family. It took time, patience, and a lot of self-reflection, but I’ve found a balance that allows me to be present for my kids while also nurturing my own growth. I also hope that I have shown them that they can achieve anything they put their minds to.


To all the young mums, especially those who may feel lost or overwhelmed—remember that it’s okay to want something for yourself. It’s okay to pursue a life that gives you joy, purpose, and connection beyond motherhood. By nurturing yourself, you’re also teaching your children the importance of self-love and resilience. It’s a journey worth taking, not just for you, but for everyone who looks up to you.


Building a business as a woman, especially as a mother, is both empowering and transformative. It allows women to reclaim parts of themselves that can sometimes get lost in the day-to-day demands of family life. As I grew in confidence, my journey took a new direction: I realised that I wanted to not only build a life for myself but also inspire other women to do the same. Here are some valuable lessons I learned that can help any woman looking to build and grow her own business.


1. Start Small, Think Big


Building a business doesn’t require an immediate grand plan. Many successful businesses began as small ideas that grew over time. Start by identifying what you’re passionate about or where you see a unique opportunity. From baking to handmade crafts, think about what aligns with your interests and skillset. Remember, a small start is just the beginning—your vision can grow as you do.


2. Use Your Skills and Leverage Your Strengths


As women, we often juggle multiple roles, which means we possess a variety of skills—communication, multitasking, patience, and creativity. These qualities are invaluable in business, especially in areas like customer relations, problem-solving, and project management. Recognise the strengths you bring to the table, whether they come from your experience in motherhood, previous jobs, or hobbies. Leveraging your unique strengths can set your business apart.


3. Build a Support Network


A supportive network is essential, whether it’s other businesswomen, mentors, or family members. There are countless online communities where female entrepreneurs share advice, resources, and encouragement. You’ll find inspiration from women who have faced similar struggles and overcome them. Having a community of like-minded people can give you the courage to keep going on challenging days and the advice to help you make smart decisions.

I fully encourage finding someone who can support you in your ideas and even challenge your way of thinking, a mentor to guide and teach you and also celebrate your success.


4. Embrace Learning and Self-Improvement


To foster personal and professional growth, it is crucial to remain open to learning and seeking guidance from experts in your field. Embrace a growth mindset that encourages continuous improvement and development. Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a proactive step towards gaining valuable insights and knowledge. Engage with mentors, join networking groups, and participate in industry events to expand your knowledge base and grow as an entrepreneur.


5. Keep Growing and Trust the Process

Even as your business matures, there will still be days when you question if you’re doing everything right. This is a natural part of the journey—doubt can be a sign that you’re pushing yourself to new heights. Embrace these moments as reminders to keep learning, seeking feedback, and refining your approach. Growth is continuous, and every challenge brings you closer to mastering your craft. Trust that even small steps forward are meaningful progress, and believe in the vision that inspired you to start.


Ami X




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